Here’s your reminder to practice kindness, not only for others but yourself too. In an era of overwhelming exposure to perfectly filtered skin and features, even we’ve been guilty of succumbing to the trap of comparison culture. Social media has birthed a wonderland of beauty inspiration and advice but it has also opened a wormhole of unrealistic beauty standards.
Opening an intimate dialogue with Bay Doucet, she courageously shares her own experience with challenging standards of beauty and battling her own insecurities.
Beauty Is…
Beauty to me is being comfortable in my skin and feeling confident—I think confidence makes you glow!
Growing up with my insecurities…
Society’s perception on what ideal beauty should look like influenced me a lot when I was younger: I got my hair straightened for every formal event, I never wore heels because I hated looking like a giant and towering over my friends, and felt like I had to dress in whatever way was in trend in order to look good.
Overcoming Them…
I remind myself that nobody is perfect. Nobody has perfect skin, or perfect teeth or perfect hair. Nobody wakes up in the morning and looks perfect. The models or celebrities we compare ourselves to literally have a team of people to make sure they look their best, and so many of the photos we see on social media are edited. It’s not a bad thing, we all want to look good in pictures, but being able to separate what is real from what is not real was so important to me in overcoming my insecurities.
I think the people we follow online also play a big part in how we feel about ourselves. We spend so much time on social media and it does affect how we feel! I started following a lot more people who were just comfortable in their own skin—people who would show their acne scars, their bed hair, and express themselves in their own unique way. Seeing them exist with pure love and confidence for themselves was really inspiring to me.
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Getting Over Days I Feel Less Confident…
I don’t hide how I feel. If I’m having a bad day, I think it’s important for me to share that rather than continue posting things as if nothing is wrong. The reality is, everyone has bad days and good days. We all get disappointed, hurt or angry. I choose to share my bad days too, because they are a big part of my life and I wouldn’t be who I am without those difficult days and feelings. Although it sometimes feels scary to do, being vulnerable online has helped me connect to so many incredible people who are struggling with similar things—and to me that is the joy of social media: connecting with people.
Regardless of how I feel, I try to bring my best to whatever it is I need to do, and trust that bad days will pass.
Being Kind To Yourself means…
Being kind to myself means treating myself like a friend. Caring for our friends comes so naturally, but somehow it’s a little difficult to care for ourselves. When I struggle to be kind to myself, I write myself letters as if I was my own friend, and read them out loud.
A message to my younger self on skin acceptance and embracing your flaws…
There is no such thing as flaws in your physical appearance. You were made this way, uniquely YOU, and you bring so much more to the table than just your appearance. When you meet someone, you remember their kindness, their warmth and their intellect more than you remember anything else—so why reduce yourself to just your looks?
There are so many different ways to be beautiful, and so many different ways to exist as a human being. Focus on feeling good, on feeling confident, and then you’ll realise your skin doesn’t really matter all that much.
