Do not adopt a pet

Even the best of pedigrees cannot differentiate between a pair of bedroom slippers you bought from Daiso or Burberry.  It would inadvertently crap in the one that cost ten times more than the purchase price of that mongrel.  There is no thrill in emptying kitty litter or any delight in prising open a saliva-dripping-clenched jaw to slip in a deworming tablet.  Pick a pet rock from your garden and nurture it instead and save yourself tons of money and time.  Give them creative names such as Pussy, Dick or Boobsy; and enjoy startle faces when you said, “I spent all weekend stoking my Pussy” and add with a cheeky wink, “It’s most satisfying”