Don’t make new friends 

In fact, you should ruthlessly cull friends. Think of all the money you save on presents! Besides, you have enough real Facebook friends who, unfailingly ‘love’, ‘like’ and ‘laugh’ with you every single day of the week so next time you are at a social gathering, go sit in the corner facing a mirror and raise a champers and cheers to your own reflection as you can’t get better company than your very own. Trust me, new friendships are like house pets; all fun at first but soon become a drag when you realise you can’t take them anywhere, least of all to the movies.